I praise You in this storm! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Lord, I haven't spoken to You fully in a while and for that, I am sorry. You know how heavy my heart  is tonight. You know the events that happened this morning in Connecticut. You know what was in those boys' hearts when they planned to commit such an evil act that they did this morning. You knew all of this before it even ever happened. I haven't been able to get this off of my mind and I haven't been able to have a dry face all day. How someone could do this horrible act, I have no idea. Lord, lift these families up in Your arms, give them strength, and help them understand that You are with them. Lord, I know you have lost a lot of fans today because a lot of people just couldn't fathom the thought of how You could let this happen. I know I can't...but I trust in You Lord. Even though it's hard to trust in anything right now, I trust in You and only You. I don't understand how You could let something like this happen and to be honest, I'm angry and hurt and frustrated and confused. You know my feelings about this and You allow me to be angry and hurt and frustrated and confused and any other emotion I'm feeling right now. You don't hold that against me as long as I trust in You. And Lord, I do. I do trust in You with all of my heart and more. You haven't lost me. I know You do things for a reason even if I don't understand that reason and even if that reason just isn't fair at all. We will never know the reason behind anything You do until we meet You and until we are with those people we love and care about who have gone before us and who are with You right now looking down on us. I praise You in this storm, Lord. I hear You say, "I am with you" even through the rain and even through the loudness of the thunder and lightening. I praise You in this storm.

Keep those angels safe who went to be with You today, Lord. Watch over their families, help them, lift them up for they have fallen down, give them strength through all of this, heal their hearts Lord, and wash away this madness in this world. I know those families will never forget this pain. I know their hearts will never fully heal until they see their babies again. Just help them. Help them through Christmas, Lord. God, this hurts so bad! These poor parents won't be able to watch their babies open their Christmas presents this year. They won't witness the faces on their childrens' faces when they open each present. Instead of wrapping their childrens' presents, they're having to "wrap" they're children. They're having to say goodbye to their precious children that they have watched grow up. Lord, just take this away. This feels like a nightmare. I couldn't imagine going through this and I pray that I never have to as long as I live. Lord, ease my angry heart. Ease these emotions and these horrible feelings I am holding against these boys that have commited this horrible act, one of which who's still on this earth.

I count my blessings extra good tonight. I am terrified of bringing my son into this cruel world. God didn't make His people this way. I know He didn't. I believe with my whole heart that He didn't. I pray I raise my son right. I pray that Grayson never has to endure any kind of pain like this. I know I can't shelter him forever and I can't hide him from everything...but I want to so badly. I don't want him growing up in a world of hate and cruelty. When I was a kid, I don't recall things like this happeneing as much as they do now. What has this world come to?

Grayson, I love you sweet boy! I love you with all of my heart and more. I haven't even met you yet and I love you. I've never loved someone so much in my life. Lord, thank You for what I have. Thank You for the people in my life. Thank You for letting me experience motherhood. And thank You for not letting me or my family be part of a tragedy like this. I pray we never have to either. Lord, help me become a good mother. I know in my heart I will be because I have You in my heart to guide me. I have been raised right thanks to You. Let me do the same with Grayson and any other children You bless me with. ♥

"And every tear I've cried, You hold in Your hand. You never left my side and though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm. I remember when I stumbled in the wind. You heard my cry to You and You raised me up again. My strenth is almost gone, how can I carry on if I can't find You? But as the thunder rolls, I barely hear You whisper through the rain, 'I am with you.' And as Your mercry falls, I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away."

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥  for the 26 people who were killed today at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, 20 of which were young children. God bless everyone who has been affected by this horrible tragedy. Everyone, hold your kids a little tighter tonight and don't take one minute for granted with them because you never know when it'll be your last. 

Busy Bee

The past week has been CRAZY! First the tummy flu hit HARD in this household! My poor niece got it from her grandpa then gave it to Amber and Jon-Ryan. Dakota brought it home from school so my mom got it, I got it, then Dakota RE-got it, Dan got it, and then TC got it. Dakota is STILL getting it. He'll go to school and then miss school. It's crazy! But thankfully it has subsided. I had to go to the ER because of it to get fluids and medicine. I couldn't keep anything down, not even water! Oh, I felt AWFUL! Thank the Lord it was only a 24 hour thing because I don't think I could have survived another day of it.

I have been so busy with photoshoots and family events. I had a photoshoot with cute, little Liam and his Mommy and Daddy on Friday. Saturday, we had the Harmon Family Christmas reunion. We had so much fun with lots of family, food, 4 wheeling, and hay rides. Of course, I didn't get on the 4 wheeler (those boys drive like maniacs), but I really enjoyed seeing all of them riding it (even DAKOTA got to drive! THAT was a scary sight to see lol). We had a lot of fun! That afternoon, TC, his brother Ian, his nephew Dillon, and I went up to York to have Christmas with their dad, stepmom, sisters, and brother-in-law. I had so much fun spending some more time with them and getting to know them more. That was the 3rd time I've visited them and they've made me feel like family every single time :)

Sunday, was bonkers! I had 3, count em, 3 photoshoots back to back. 2 of those were combined photoshoots for 1 family. It wasn't as crazy as I thought it would be though but still very busy. I had a ton of fun with both families.

For the past 2 days, I have done non-stop editing. TC and I even went to IHOP last night to get out of the house and get some work done. It felt pretty good to get so much accomplished without any distractions.

Here are some pictures of this weekend's events :)

It's not a HAPPY party in my tummy!

I swear I have gotten SO HUGE in the last couple of weeks! I'm starting feel Grayson kick and move around. He really kicks when we put the heart beat monitor on him and ESPECIALLY when I take a bath! I'll pour water on my tummy and he LOVES it! So hopefully he'll like bath time when he arrives.

Grayson is DEFINITELY spoiled already! A few nights ago, I was having a really hard time breathing. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest. My mom said, "there IS someone sitting on your chest. It's called Grayson." So I laid down, stretched out, go on my back, then both of my sides, out my arms over my head, did EVERYTHING to get comfortable where I could breathe again. I finally got in the bath tub and IMMEDIATELY I was able to breathe properly. It was bath time and I didn't realize it so Grayson made SURE I knew that it was bath time! lol! I swear he's spoiled rotten!

Last night was HORRIBLE though! My brother has had the stomach flu since early Sunday morning and FINALLY went back to school today and feels better. Well, I KNEW I was gonna get it so I left the house for the day to HOPEFULLY not catch it. Well, well and behold, I got it last night around 7ish after TC and I got back from the grocery store. After hours of throwing up, TC called my OB to ask her what we needed to do since I couldn't keep water down. She told him to take me to urgent care to get some fluids in me and to possibly get a flu shot. Urgent care was closed so he took me to the ER. I had gone to the bathroom and I was spotting and cramping really bad so that scared me. They took me up to labor and delivery. My nurse, Rene, took really good care of me, got fluids in me,   gave me some meds, and made sure Grayson was alright. He was perfectly fine. He kicked the crap outta the machines the whole time and ran away from Rene. I was cramping and bleeding from the strain of throwing up and dry heaving. She gave me some meds and they helped a little, but then I got really bad heart burn so that made me feel even more nauseous. She gave me some heart burn medicine, but they didn't help at all! Dr. Jones sent me some ginger ale and saltines and told me that I could go home if I could keep those down. That was really hard because I HATE ginger ale! It gives me heart burn so it didn't help when I ALREADY had heart burn. I was able to go home at 4. We get home, I lay down, and IMMEDIATELY I puked up the ginger ale, crackers, and water. I was also throwing up some blood but that was from where my throat had torn from throwing up and coughing so bad. 

I feel a WHOLE lot better today even though I still feel a little nauseous, but I've been able to keep down water and some strawberries. I am STARVING but they told me to try and eat 3 meals with snacks in between but not to over do it. So HOPEFULLY I'll be able to eat today.

Grayson is finally moving and it feels so weird but so amazing at the same time! It feels like a little roller coaster ride like the Dragon ride at the fair lol. He absolutely loves bath time. I see a foot or something pop up on my tummy every time I pour water over my tummy. It's incredible! TC will sit in the bathroom with me and watch him move and I swear the man's jealous that he can only see it and not feel it like I can. lol! 

I absolutely love my son! And so does Daddy! We can't wait until he's here! It's going by so fast and it needs to slow down so we can get everything ready but I'm ready to meet Grayson, hold him, and take care of him. It's a scary thought, but we're ready. I love you Grayson Michael Wallace! <3

Party Party In My Tummy!

Keeping this post short and sweet. I have officially been able to feel Grayson actively move and kick. I felt the flutters and little tummy drops but THIS has NO comparision to that! It feels amazing! Grayson loves bath time! He kicks and swims around every time I pour water on my tummy and then he becomes very calm and relaxed. I'll always remember this feeling. I'm so blessed to have a healthy baby boy growing inside of me and being able to feel him every day (even if he kicks the crap outta me sometimes and it hurts so bad! lol). Grayson Michael, Mommy loves you!