As I was holding Penelope yesterday and today, I couldn't help but to just stare at her. She's so beautiful! Makes me want Grayson here even more! TC watched me as I held her and teared up a bit. On the way home, he said told me that seeing me hold her just makes him want Grayson here so bad! I absolutely LOVE him!
TC has always been so good to me (even if I do pick on him for being an ass lol). But he has been so good to me since I've gotten pregnant! It's so cute to watch him talk to Grayson and kiss my belly and just watch Grayson kick every time TC talks to him. TC always doubts that he's going to be a good daddy. He's scared and worried he won't do a good job...but I know he's going to be the best daddy to Grayson and any other kids we decide to have. He's already a good Daddy! He helps me when I'm moody, goes to the store whenever I need him to and for whatever I need from my crazy cravings to tylenol for back aches. I don't know how I lucked out on such a great man, but I'm so glad I did. I never knew I could fall so much in love with a man until he came along. He treats me like no other man ever has. He never degrades me, he never makes me do anything I'm not comfortable doing, he makes me laugh 247, he holds me when I'm sad or when I don't feel well, and he looks into my eyes and tells me how beautiful I am on a daily basis. I absolutely love waking up to him every morning holding me, looking me in the eyes, and telling me "good morning beautiful" and some times even singing our song ("Good Morning Beautiful" by Blake Shelton). Goodness I could just talk all day about the most amazing man in my life! I'm so glad God the two of us for one another. Couldn't have asked for a better man to share my life with and to be the father of my son and future children.
Ok ok enough with the mushy stuff lol. TC and I move in 9 days! I can't wait! But then it makes me realize that I have been living with my momma my whole life and I'm finally leaving the nest on my own. I don't really count living in a dorm at Columbia College or living in an apartment in Charleston when I went to The Art Institute of Charleston only because I literally came home EVERY weekend, I missed home so much! Even when I was in Charleston, I went home every weekend! Of course my special momma was the one who came and got me every weekend and brought me back when I lived in both Columbia and Charleston since I wasn't allowed to drive. But any way, I'm actually gonna miss living with my momma. I'm gonna miss the craziness and loudness to be honest. It's rarely quiet here and sometimes I hate it...but then most of the time I know that's if it IS quiet, someone is either sleeping or doing something they shouldn't! Lol! Living with a 13 year old with a disability has had it's ups and downs. Sometimes, I wanna ring his neck and then sometimes I just wanna love on him until I can't anymore! I can't believe he's 13! He's always been my best friend! He's never gone more than 3 days without seeing me and he's NEVER gone a day without hearing my voice. So this move is going to be really weird. I don't know what I'm gonna do with quietness for two and half months until Grayson gets here. And even then, it'll be semi quiet. It definitely won't be the same without all the loudness. We're a loud family, always have been and always will. TC can't stand it most of the time, but I'm used to it. I'm gonna miss the morning talks my momma and I have on Saturday mornings before anyone else is awake, when it's nice and quiet in the house before the monster wakes up. Lol! And I'm definitely going to miss hearing Dakota sing himself to sleep every night. That's the sweetest thing I could hear before bedtime. I'm gonna miss a lot! This has been my home for 22 years. It's going to be bittersweet to not have to clean up after 2 men, fall in the toilet or step in pee because a kid doesn't know how to put the seat down or aim well, step on army men and slip on comic book sleeves, deal with a kid screaming to the top of his lungs at 6 in the morning because he doesn't wanna get up for school, or deal with a kid barging into your room without knocking lol. But that's what makes this house a home and I'm gonna miss it to be honest. Ok, maybe not falling in the toilet or stepping in pee lol. My room looks so empty with everything pretty much packed and ready to go. I can't wait to start this journey with TC and start a family with him though. Grayson will be here before we know and I can't wait! There are so many changes happening right before our eyes. Some of them are a little overwhelming but so exciting! So ready for this! :)
Ok, going to bed after a blueberry bagel with cream cheese and honey and drinking some hot strawberry too thanks to Grayson's WOMB service lol no I'm serious this picture below explains it all:
Goodnight, everyone! Baby appointment in the morning for my lovely sugar test! Hip, hip hoorah!
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