Ok so today couldn't get any worse for reals!
First, I wake up in pain because of these stupid seizures/events/whatever the hell they are.
Second, one of the OB doctors that I saw last Tuesday, set up an appointment for me to see a psychologist to handle my conversion disorder. I asked her to find me a place that takes my insurance and somewhere I can speak to a woman and not a man. Well, Friday she gave me all the info, she even set up an appointment for me. So I didn't think of calling this place when the OB I saw gave me the name of the place, the psychologist that I'd be seeing, what time my appointment was, directions to the place, everything. Well, Monday morning comes and I call up the number to the psychologist making sure my appointment was at 2 because I was in the car driving when the OB was telling me everything and I heard everything clearly except my appointment time. Couldn't remember if it was at 2 or 3. Well, as I was going to call them, my phone decided to not cut on...for 2 HOURS! So not only could I call them but I also couldn't get the number to my OB from my phone. So, I went to get on my computer to look up my OB's number. What happens? My internet on my computer wasn't working. So, I use the house phone to call my mom for her to get the number to my OB. She gives it to me and I call up there. I was on the phone for 20 minutes while the lady was trying to get my info up. Of course, their system was down and they had to go through loop holes just to get to my file. She finally gets to it and gives me all the info I need for my psychologist appointment at 2:00. Funny thing is, that info the nurse gave me was TOTALLY different than the info that OB gave me! She messed up the woman's name, gave me her cell phone number instead of the office's number (which the cell phone number was NOT the right number), she told me the place was located on the road in front of Lexington Medical Center (not even close! it was located on Alpine Road all the way over near Decker Boulevard!), AND she had the name of the place wrong! At least it was the same place she set my appointment to. She just gave ME the wrong info. Jeez!
So I get ALLLL the way over to Alpine Road. I left the house at 1 and STILL was 15 minutes late! I can't take interstate with my car and I don't like the interstate any way if I don't have to use it. So the minute I turn in, I remember this place. It was the same place the doctors at MUSC sent me and I was pissed because at this place, there were only men you could talk to so last summer when I found that out, I immediately left (I don't wanna talk to a man for a reason, just like my primary doctor isn't a man and neither is my OB...I prefer women for a reason and won't go into anymore detail than that). So of course, I was pissed! I walked in and asked which doctor I was going to see (just to clear that up since the OB I saw gave me the wrong psychologists' name by just a hair). The woman at the desk said that I would be seeing Kristin Clarry, so I felt better. I sit down and fill out all of the paper work and then was called back. I talked to Kristin for a good hour and a half. We talked about everything and she really helped! She was nice, very bubbly and excited about what she does, and just all around a very comfortable person to be around and talk to. Well after we talk, I go up to the front to schedule another appointment. The woman at the desk was very snooty and rude. She says, "that'll be $250." I asked her if my insurance covers any of that. She says, "no! we don't accept any insurance. That'll be $250." I asked her, "then why didn't you tell me that before I filled out all of that paper work and talked with her and why did you ask me for my insurance in that paper work if you don't take any insurance?" She just sat that. Then I asked, "why is it that the woman who talked to Kristin BEFORE me, had the same exact time with her as I did and HER bill is only $80 and mine is $250 when all I did was TALK to her? She didn't diagnose me, prescribe me with anything, nothing of that sort. Just talk." Oh, I was so pissed. She just said, "how would you like to pay for that?" I asked her if they could bill it to me and she said, "no! We don't do that! Payment is do at the time of the visit!" I told her that I don't have a job or a way to pay this today and that my mom THANKFULLY takes care of my other bills. My health bills, I'M having to pay for but can't other than co-pays! I told her that my mom could not afford that every 2 weeks like Kristin wanted me to come and that we couldn't afford that period! Urghh pissed me off! They demanded to call my mom and I told them that I would call her. They argued with me, telling me that THEY would do it. I told them, "no, I rather NOT piss her off while she's at work, thank you!" and I simply went into the waiting room and called my mom. Got off the phone with her and told the ladies that I could not pay this today and that I would pay it when I could since they did not notify me of this beforehand when I asked. I walked out of there!
It just pisses me off that for a YEAR I have tried to get into talking with someone who knows exactly what conversion disorder is and who has worked with someone with this disorder before. And when I FINALLY got to talk to someone and get a lot off my chest, all of it came crashing down! If I wasn't pregnant, I wouldn't worry about myself and this condition. I would just take the medicine they prescribe me and go on with my life because it's not like I haven't talked to someone about what I have been through in life. But when I have a child to look after and this child is depending on me to be healthy for it, it just hurts when I can't get the help I need where I don't suffer financially. My seizures have never bothered me. Yes, they are frustrating! Yes, they make me ache. Yes, they put me in an ill mood for days. But I can live with that the rest of my life when it can be semi-controlled with medicine. Medicine won't take these awful things away from me, but at least they'd help. But me being pregnant, I can't take these medicines and even if I could, I wouldn't so my child doesn't have any health problems that they oh so happened to figure out happens with this medicine like you see on the TV ALL the time. Seizures in my sleep doesn't hurt the baby...but what if I fall and have one. What then? I could lose this child and I can't go through losing another child. I just can't!
My conversion disorder is due to stress and the things I haven't dealt with in my past. I have forgiven what happened in my past and the people who caused it. I have talked to my mom about it. I have talked to Mrs. Ray and Mrs. Moore about it in high school since they were the ones who helped me in school with everything! But I went so long carrying so many secrets about my past, that it has all bottled up inside for so many years and has caused me to have this frustrating disorder. And on top of all that, it took them 6 years to find out that this is what I have. I have become a very open person after I met Mrs. Ray and Mrs. Moore. Not so open where I just tell you everything I have been through the minute I meet you, but my best friends now know the things I have been through. My parents and my immediate family know. So it's not like I have kept it all bottled up to this day. No, I just kept it bottled up inside from the time I was very little all the way up to high school when I met Mrs. Ray and Mrs. Moore, and that's a long time.
But any way! Like I said, today SUCKED! And I pray to God that the OB I saw last Tuesday is NOT the one who winds up delivering my child! Since my OB isn't promised to deliver my child, they bounce everyone around to each doctor to get to know and get comfortable with. But THIS doctor forgot EVERY piece of info about that appointment that SHE set up so God forbid she delivers my child and forgets something important! Oh lordy! I hope she gets stuck in traffic that day (without any injuries to any parties on that road) OR she's on vacation once my child is born because God forbid she is the one who delivers me! Phewww!
I think I am done ranting and raving now :D
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