I don't listen very well at all. Everyone should know by now I'm stubborn as hell. Have been since the day I was born. My doctor told me that I pretty much need to be on bed rest this weekend because my feet and legs are just THAT swollen. She said, "I know it's gonna be a nice weekend and all but you need to stay indoors, get off of your feet, and relax." Well what am I doing? Totally not listening! Lol! I'm outside on the shaded porch WITH my legs propped up. So :P

I'm just sitting out here enjoying the weather and hearing all the birds chirp. My yard is beautiful and I love it here! TC is at drill (hopefully behaving himself and NOT showing his ass lol) and I miss him. When he's at work at RGIS, I'm able to enjoy the day, get some cleaning done, and just relax. But when he's at drill, I hate it. I can't stop thinking about him and I miss him so much! It's only 2 days outta the month (sometimes 3) but I can't help but to miss him. I guess it's because he's 2 hours away and I don't know what he's doing. When he's at RGIS, I know he's inventorying some store...but the military is so weird. I don't know if he's in a military vehicle, fixing a military vehicle, or just sitting there being bored as hell like he always tells me he is lol. He hasn't texted me all day and I guess I'm just paranoid. 

Grayson should be here any day now and if he isn't, he'll be here the 24th or the 25th because I'll be getting induced. I just want him here. I wanna hold him. I wanna see him with his daddy. I guess I want him here even more because yesterday we were told that TC will be deploying to Afghanistan in August...and I'm scared. I'm scared the next 4 months are going to fly by before my eyes and then the year he'll be gone, it's going to feel like forever! Grayson will be 3-4 months old when TC leaves and will be 1.5 years old when he returns. It's going to be hard. TC is such a huge part of my life and I don't care if we've only been together a year. Time doesn't matter. I have fallen so much in love with this man it's not even funny. I don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to him. I believe I'm strong enough to raise Grayson on my own for a year...but I don't want to. Call me selfish, I don't care. I just don't think it's right that they're taking TC from his son so early. If Grayson was old enough to understand and to remember his daddy, I probably wouldn't make this such a big deal. I just can't picture a day without TC in my life let alone a year. It's killing me to think about it. This news is only a day old and I'm trying not to think about it so much and just spend as much time with TC as I can without moping around or being so upset...but it's hard. I don't want him to go. I love him so much! I never knew I could love a man so much in my life...but TC is so different. He makes me feel like I'm the only girl in this world because to him, I am. I just hope these next 4 months goes by so slow that it drags on and on. I don't think I've ever wanted time to go so slow in my life! 

I'm sitting out here just thinking about mine and TC's life together the past year. It seems like it's been way more than a year. I feel like I've spent my whole life with this man. I know things were slow at first and I got so impatient when we first started dating...and then it got so fast when we found out I was pregnant. But we've stuck by each other and we've done so not only because we had an oops moment and made a baby. We've done so because we love each other. We have our moments with each other where we piss one another off, but we have never been in a fight. We've always talked it out and told each other how we feel before we get a chance to scream and yell at each other. And I'm thankful for that communication because I've never had that in a relationship...EVER! He's so different with me. He understands me or at least tries his hardest to understand me (I don't believe a man can ever understand a woman lol). He puts me first above anyone and anything else including himself although sometimes I wish he wouldn't do that. He makes me feel so special even if it's the little things like the way he gently touches me or kisses me. He helps me in every way possible. He supports me in anything and everything I do or want to do and never questions me. He never tells me to think before I wanna do something and if I screw up, he never tells me he told me so and never rubs it in my face that I should have listened to him. I love when he kisses me, touches me, holds me, grabs me and puts me in his arms, plays around with me, makes me feel special, and just how he is there whenever I need him. I love him so much and I couldn't be more thankful for him. I know I don't have to prove my love to him or prove to anyone else my love for him. I guess I just like to brag a little...ok a lot! Lol! I'm just beyond blessed.

Haven't been able to stop listening to this song even if it does make me cry like a baby:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTTZ_dRSGhM